Guilty Pleasure Recap: The Bachelorette, Season 11, Week 5

Pre Show
Nick Viall is back. You remember this creep—the runner up of the Andy Dorfman season of The Bachelorette who ran his mouth off about sleeping with her on “After the Final Rose.” Andy took to twitter this week to give a one-word warning to Kaitlyn: “RUN!”

Listen to this woman, Kaitlyn, Nick is up to no good.

8 p.m. – Time for Nick-Bombing, Two-Stepping and Confronting
Tension at the bachelor pad is palpable when Nick turns the doorknob and enters. The hopefuls are sitting on one sofa and Nick sits by himself on the opposite sofa. This is a frigid meeting.

Nick makes things worse as he tries to explain his presence by saying, “She’s a cool chick.”

Shawn asks, “Is she a cool chick or an amazing woman?”

Joshua is quite vocal about questioning Nick’s intentions.

Tanner wonders out loud, “Are you chasing your 16 minutes of fame?” You are right on, Tanner, that’s exactly what Nick is up to.

All of the bachelors are disappointed that Kaitlyn felt the need to bring Nick into the mix. After all, aren’t 25 contestants enough?

We go to Citifield for the cocktail party and rose ceremony. Imagine having majestic Citifield all to yourself—it’s baseball heaven.

Close up on Shawn, who warns Kaitlyn in a voiceover, “This guy is full of crap.” I agree, good judge of character, Shawn.

Kaitlyn starts the rose ceremony and just as the guys predicted, Nick gets the last rose. That means another hopeful, who was there from the start, is out.

“Wake up, Kaitlyn!” I’m screaming at my TV.

On to San Antonio, Texas, and the new St. Anthony Hotel which is close to picturesque River Walk.

Ben H is the lucky man who gets the next one-on-one date. Kaitlyn picks him up in a red 1950 Ford pickup with a plush red interior. They’re off to the Gruene Hall, the oldest dance hall in Texas, where they meet an instructor who teaches them the two-step.

“Partnership dancing is all about communication,” the dance instructor says. So I guess we will see how well these two communicate. The afternoon is spent learning the steps, followed by a dance competition. No, they don’t win, but they have fun. Later, we have another rooftop setting for dinner and after Ben H opens up to Kaitlyn, he gets a rose. Looks like Ben H will be around for a while longer.

Switch to group date. It’s Kaitlyn with 10 bachelors. A 12-year-old boy, Sebastian, serenades them mariachi style and informs the bachelors they must write and sing a mariachi song to Kaitlyn. All the guys make the best of it, though they feel awkward—which is clearly the theme of this season.

Nick one-ups them all by whisking Kaitlyn to a balcony for his serenade. He put it all out there and he was a diamond in the rough so to speak. He certainly knows how to showcase, I’ll give him that much.

In the evening, they are at a western style ranch with an adjoining church. Now for the confrontation! Joshua pulls Kaitlyn aside and as they sit in the church, he tells her that nobody in the house likes Nick. Kaitlyn thought the guys were past the Nick drama so she’s concerned for their feelings. She confronts them and all sit quietly. They threw Joshua under the bus with their silence. At the end of the evening, Kaitlyn gives the rose to Nick—sort of a sympathy move on her part. She thinks Nick is here for the right reason. Oh, you have blinders on, sweetie.

Next one-on-one date is with Shawn. This is the one for you Kaitlyn. I said it night one. It seems that Shawn has had a near death experience, which makes him even more grateful to be here with Kaitlyn. They go kayaking down the River Walk area. At dinner, they share some intimate conversation. Shawn allows himself to be vulnerable and he confesses, “I’m falling in love with you.” To which Kaitlyn replies that she feels the same way. Close up on Kaitlyn, who admits to the camera, “What I’m feeling is, that was my husband is telling me that. He could be the guy I give my final rose to.” This was a very romantic evening, maybe a turning point for these two. Kaitlyn encourages Shawn further by giving him a rose. Yes, he’ll be around. Hopefully Kaitlyn is catching on that he is the man for her.

Damn! It looks like we have yet another cliffhanger this week. The bachelors get ready for the next cocktail party and rose ceremony. It’s Ian’s turn for a meltdown. He mouths off, “My ex-girlfriend is a lot hotter than she is.” It seems he feels rejected and says, “San Antonio is going to be my last stand in this.”

It’s another confrontation. This time Ian pulls Kaitlyn aside and reams her out. He is rude and he comes off as ridiculously arrogant. He thinks quite a lot of himself as he says more than once that he could be the next bachelor. I wouldn’t put money on that, Ian. No one likes a sore loser with a big chip on his shoulder thinking he’s better than the rest.

Ian goes on, “I am an enigma that you could go on opening for life.” He brags, “I meet chicks and have lots of sex. I am a deep person. I came here for life. I’m not here for the girl who wants her field plowed.” Ian seems to think that because he is a Princeton graduate, a former model and a survivor of a major accident, he is the most special guy in the house. Sorry Ian, much better men than you went to average colleges and even community colleges. Going to an Ivy League school doesn’t make you a good man, as you are clearly demonstrating with your rants. As for a model, I wouldn’t sign you up. So pack your bags and leave—the quicker the better.

Next Week
Things get out of hand and way too HOT! Kaitlyn takes one of the guys (can anyone speculate—Nick) to her room. Later she dissolves in tears knowing she stabbed the rest in their hearts. Stay tuned for more waterfalls and meltdowns!

The Bachelorette Season 11, Week 6 airs on ABC next Monday, June 22 at 8 p.m. Check DansPapers.com next Tuesday for our next Guilty Pleasure Recap.

Barbara Anne Kirshner is the author of Madison Weatherbee-The Different Dachshund. She is a regular contributor to DansPapers.com.