The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: October 22–28, 2015

Week of October 22–28, 2015
Riders this past week: 8,713
Rider miles this past week: 83,412

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Designer Walter Bernard was seen traveling from Sag Harbor to East Hampton on Thursday morning. Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz was seen drinking a coffee while taking the subway from Water Mill to Southampton. Jimmy Fallon was seen playing the harmonica on the subway between Southampton and Noyac on Saturday morning, until people asked him to stop.

BIG MESS
Our maintenance department, which cleans up the subway after hours, has asked us to mention once again: Riders, please do not throw used Hamptons International Film Festival tickets, documents and programs off the rear car of the trains while heading back to the city. It was done again this Columbus Day weekend after we asked that people not do this, so this applies to next Columbus Day. It makes a big mess for the maintenance people to pick up after 2 a.m. when the system closes for maintenance at night.

NOW IT CAN BE TOLD
President Obama and Russian Prime Minister Putin met secretly two weeks ago on the “Internationale,” our luxurious subway car for hire that we roll slowly along the tracks in hour-long tours of the system, for as many hours as hired—so long as it is between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. It was a peaceful, calm place for these two leaders to meet, unlike at the UN where Putin and Obama also met. They took the “Internationale” out for three and a half hours, choppering in at midnight when the East Hampton airport is closed. Afterwards, they announced they had frank, open discussions with each another.

BEAVERS HERE
A family of beavers was discovered living in a lodge they had built on the north side of the tracks between East Hampton and Amagansett on Thursday. Passengers noticed them and sent emails to our help desk when the train had to halt because of an obstruction, which was some sort of dam across the tracks made of mud and twigs nearby to the nest. Several passengers who said they were in a hurry and nobody was showing up, disembarked the stopped train to take matters into their own hands by shooing off the beavers and ripping down the dam. One of them got bit by the lead beaver, but not badly. We are grateful they, the passengers, removed the dam. The Wildlife Conservation people arrived shortly after the encounter to round up the beavers and take them to safety while police arrived at the next station to arrest the passengers who tore down the dam. It is illegal to do that.

NEW RULE
Shortly after this event, the subway commission passed a new rule making it illegal to interfere with any animals they might find on the tracks, beavers or otherwise.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLA
Carla Ensign, the fastest typist in the subway company typing pool, turned 36 last Thursday and there was a party in her honor in the cafeteria of the Hamptons Subway building attended by about 10 people to cut the cake and blow out the candles. Carla breezed in, blew out the candles and left immediately, thanking everyone but saying she had to get back to work.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
I would like to thank the Hotchkiss and Bentley Marketing Firm for the job they did in calling around the community by phone to everyone to get out the vote to re-elect me Commissioner for the next two year term. My entire goal is to help Hampton Subway as it rises up to its great heights into the future.

READ MORE HAMPTONS SUBWAY!

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