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Dan Rattiner’s Stories

Trump Tapes Continued: France Problems – Le Pen, Macron, EU and More

By Dan Rattiner
3 minute 06/12/2017 Share
Torn Macron poster
Photo: neydt/123RF

Our ongoing reveal of the Trump Tapes continues…

Monday, May 8, 2017
—I just don’t understand how the French failed to elect that right wing lady Marie Le Pen. Vladimir unleashed the same campaign he did that got England out of the EU, the same campaign he did that got me elected—thank you very much, Vladimir.

—Why are you looking over there, Mr. President?

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—I was looking at something on the White House Lawn, out the window next to that wooden cigar cabinet.

—The French are difficult people, Mr. President. Stubborn and ornery. They do things their own way. They don’t go running off with whatever is the latest rage.

—They look down their noses at those who don’t speak French, well as you know, Mr. President.

—Yeah, but all that hacking the Russians did. What was it? Three thousand pages of Monsieur Macron’s emails?

—The government asked the people not to read it. They asked the media not to report it.

—There is no Faux News in Paris, Mr. Trump. No Breitbart. No fake news. No hysteria. I don’t think they even have porno.

—Me and Vladimir will just have to try again next time. Every few years in France, you get to take out the government. But the French are a special case.

—Do you think you should be talking like this so openly, sir?

—It’s how I think. I sit. I talk. I tweet.

—What if this Oval Office were bugged, sir?

—Nobody would ever do that. You know what? I think we ought to celebrate. Celebrate the two out of three that worked. Screw the French. Who’d like a cigar? I’ve got Cubans in this cigar cabinet. Who will join me? Nobody? Well, I’ll have one myself. These are so rare. I have this machine in here that keeps them under constant proper conditions. Here, I’ll get me a cigar, and I’ll just switch off the machine with this switch, does anybody have a light? Going once, going…

Read more Trump Tapes

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