Police Blotter

Hamptons Police Allay Local Bomb Threat Fears, Mostly

The Hamptons Police Department received numerous calls from anxious residents last week who believed that the East End might have been targeted with a bomb.

“It was a strange confluence of events,” Hamptons Police spokesman Larry Hirsch says. “Just as North Korea’s leader was talking about a nuclear button, and our President was countering with his own talk of a bigger nuclear button, the weather forecast started talking about something called a ‘bomb cyclone,’ which was actually a storm. But you can see where people got confused.”

The police were able to allay the callers’ concerns about any immediate local bomb threats, though, when looking at the international stage, officers told the public, “It’s not exactly crazy to expect to be blown up at pretty much any time between now and 2020.”

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