Police Blotter

Expect Lawlessness as Hamptons Police Watch ‘Game of Thrones’ Sunday

It's not HPD, it's HBO!

Residents of the Southampton and East Hampton townships are battening down the hatches and staying off the streets in expectation of a chaotic evening while the entire Hamptons Police Department takes off to watch the Game of Thrones Season 8 premiere on HBO this Sunday.

As of now, Hamptons Police spokesman Larry Hirsch says the Department has no plans to continue taking Sundays off for every episode of the season, “but our guys have worked very hard this year, especially in the absence of a proper R&R facility, which remains in the works.”

He noted officers may make another exception for the series finale, “but it really depends on how the season goes.”

On Friday, Hirsch called local media outlets to add a related announcement following Disney’s reveal of the new Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker trailer at Star Wars Celebration in Chicago. “We’re thinking this movie might actually return the franchise to our good graces,” he explained. “And if further trailers prove these suspicions true, there’s a very strong likelihood our guys will want to skip work for the film’s premiere on December 20 of this year,” Hirsch said, adding, “You can play J.J. Abrams for that.”

Despite the probable department-wide day off on December 20, Hirsch said his officers would most certainly stop any type of ruckus that might arise at the Rise of Skywalker premiere. “Fans have been known to get a bit nutty at these events, so our guys will actually be there to help, though I expect most will be wearing stormtrooper armor,” he continued. “But if you think about it, how cool would it be to see stormtroopers making a legitimate arrest at the premiere? I’ll just answer that question now: It would be totally and completely awesome.”

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