Hamptons Police Department SWAT officers raided a local office building last Saturday for “flagrantly disobeying signage laws” by displaying a “Watch Your Step” sign screwed onto the wall above their front door.
During the raid, SWAT team members in full tactical gear descended upon the small East Hampton office complex and quickly pulled down the offending 6” x 8” sign, which warned entrants in full opposition of existing statutes.
Officers arrested stunned building owner Hamish Klerk in full view of customers and pedestrians on the sidewalk outside and took him in for questioning.
“Listen, I know some will say this was an overreaction, but we’re trying not to let things get out of hand,” Hamptons Police Department spokesman Rex Gallant said on Monday. “First, it’s a small warning sign, then it’s a stuffed dog or a giant ice cream cone statue. Before you know it, we’ll have gigantic, electric neon signs towering over or village streets! The people of the Hamptons deserve to be safe from offending lettering and messages.”
Following Saturday’s raid, the HPD sent out a region-wide message warning everyone that a crackdown is underway and no quarter will be given.
“We’re putting an end to this scourge,” Gallant said. “We don’t want to see signs on your homes and mailboxes—and that includes your name and house number. We don’t even want to see a Post-It note stuck to your front door. You’ve been warned.”