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Columns & Opinions

John McCain Said What About Lawwng Island??!!!

By David Rattiner
2 minute 12/01/2011 Share

I was making my cup of cawwfee this morning, applying my axe body spray and doing some bicep curls while reading the news on my iPhone and I almost lost my cool when I read the news that John McCain made a remark about about my home town of Lawwwwng Island.

This is an exact quote from the Daily News:

The oft-irascible Republican had to backpedal like mad Wednesday after he off-handedly cracked that, last he checked, the island was part — “albeit sometimes regrettably” — of the United States.

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Immediately I got on the phone and cawlled my mutha.

“Hey MA!”

“Hey sweetheart, how you doin’?”

“You read this thing in the paper about Jawwn McCain making a quip about Lawwng Island?”

“Oh my Gawd did I eva! We were tawking about it at the nail salon this morning. Who does that piece of garbage think he is tawking about Lawwwwng Island like that?”

“I know right? I got to go Ma. I got to eat some breakfast.”

I made myself some leftover sushi from the mawwll yesterday and then blended myself up a muscle milk protein shake and followed it up with my cawffee. I feel a little bettuh.

 

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