Hamptons Police Blotter: Stolen Rings, Rotten Neighbors

East End life was under the influence of boots and a few bad seeds this week.

$40,000 Ring

A $40,000 diamond ring was stolen from a closet at a house in Southampton. The woman initially thought that the ring may have been misplaced but then called police three days later after being certain the ring was stolen. She told police that she never wears the ring because it is too ostentatious. So then why own it if you never wear it? Rich people are so weird.

No License

A 32-year-old man was arrested in Southampton after he was caught driving without a license and under the influence of alcohol. The man originally had his driver’s license revoked because, you guessed it, he was caught with a DWI.

Clever

A man in Bridgehampton was arrested after he was caught taking off his boots, placing them in a shoebox that used to contain a new pair of boots, and then placing the new pair of boots on his feet. A good plan if your goal is to get arrested.

Shelter Island

Old Man McGumbus, 108 years old and former World War II chemical weapons specialist, needed medical assistance after taking too many Viagra pills. Police found McGumbus passed out in his driveway wearing a robe after he knocked himself out with a baseball bat to subdue the pain. His girlfriend, 26-year-old Juliana Ramirez, called 911.

Rotten Neighbor

A 71-year-old woman in Montauk was arrested for the second time after she violated a court order to stay away from her neighbor. Last week she rang the doorbell and the neighbor called the police.

Rotten Teens

Two teenage girls were arrested in East Hampton after they were caught stealing socks, five bottles of nail polish, a pair of fake eyelashes, a pink and a white ring, earrings and skin cream. The entire total of products stolen was worth $132.94. True story. Happened last week.