Sudden Breakthrough: Romney Closes in on Obama in New York in New Poll

A new poll just out in New York State shows Mitt Romney gaining rapidly on President Obama.
“They are almost even here in this state,” said Professor James Addison of the Setauket Institute. “It’s an astonishing thing. One week ago, President Obama had a comfortable 12-point lead over Mitt Romney; now Romney is just half a point behind. As a matter of fact, as I speak, if this trajectory continues, he will be actually ahead by two one hundredths of a point in another 45 minutes.”
When asked how Romney’s sudden surge in the state could have come about as other polls still show him lagging well behind, Addison replied that he is using heretofore unused new computer techniques that are more accurate than those ever used before.
These techniques have been developed under his leadership at the Setauket Institute working directly with the Sweet Water Institute in Port Jefferson and other major scholarly institutions here on Long Island. Addison has also received a large grant from the State of New York and the New York Media Association.
Long Island is the center of Intellectual Research here in the State of New York,” Dr. Addison said. “Here was built the moon lander, here was work done splitting atoms, here the first atomic bombs were built.”
When asked what was responsible for the surge, Addison said it was across the board. “Romney has gained with women, men, the elderly, the Hispanics, the African-Americans, the JapaneseAmericans, the teenagers, the rich, even the poor.”
The news of the sudden surge was greeted with joy at Romney Headquarters. Until now, New York had been written off, considered safely in Obama’s camp.
“Though we have not been spending much money in New York State,” an official in the Romney camp said, “apparently our message has begun to get through to the voters of New York. New York has 29 electoral votes. This is a very big deal. I think we need to re-assess whether or not we should be allocating resources to New York in addition to the swing states of Colorado, Virginia, Florida, Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, Ohio and Wisconsin which up until now were the only states that we thought would be deciding the election.”
While joy reigned in the Romney camp, concern was the order of the day at the Obama camp.
“We don’t have the same resources that Romney does,” said one spokesman for the Obama Campaign Spending Commission (OCSC). “But it might be time to consider New York as the ninth swing state. Eight is an even number. With five we can win. Before this New York surge, we considered it a battle of four against four. A ninth would make it five to four. This increases our odds of winning.”
Meanwhile celebrations were in order up in Albany both at the State House and at the offices of the New York Media Association.
“This had been a big gamble,” said a spokesman for the New York Media Association. “The State of New York took on the major financial obligation of backing the Setauket Institute and Dr. Addison. But we invested heavily too.”
A staggering amount of money has already been raised to elect Romney or re-elect Obama. The final total could be as much as $2 billion. Much of it has come from the deep pockets of the folks in New York, particularly those in New York City and the Hamptons. Yet practically all of this money has been earmarked to be spent in the newspapers, TV and radio stations in the swing states of Virginia, Colorado, Florida, Wisconsin, Ohio, Iowa, New Hampshire and Nevada.
“Now it appears this will pay off big time, huge,” the Media Association spokesman continued.
New York State is no better and no worse than any other state in the country when it comes to the recession. Unemployment remains high, houses continue to be foreclosed upon, business efforts are sputtering. Two billion dollars spent in the media is an enormous sum of money. The swing states expect to be almost jump started back to prosperity with the money coming in to the media for the expected blizzard of commercials and advertisements and then trickling down.
Thus it was that the New York State Legislature, under the headline banner US TOO, held a secret and unanimous bi-partisan vote to allocate $50 million in the founding of the Setauket Institute and Dr. Addison this past April, with every Democrat and Republican in the state joining together for the first time to vote something unanimously through.
“This should be a lesson for the United States Congress,” the Assistant Speaker of the State of New York said after that vote. “This is how to get things done.”
A flash report, just in from Dr. Addison an hour ago, shows Romney’s quarter point lead now wavering. “It could go either way,” he said. It’s suddenly down a sixteenth.” Obama, reportedly, is ecstatic.
Stock prices for media companies in New York have nearly doubled in the last 24 hours on the New York Stock Exchange, led by Dan’s Papers, which surged from 1.5 to 11 in just one hour in the afternoon session.

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