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Countdown to the 12-21-12 Apocalypse: Last Week on Earth

We’re still alive. For now.

December 21201212-21-12, is just one week away. As everyone knows by now, the Mayan calendar and various other absolutely credible sources tell us The Four Beasts will rear their ugly heads and our Last Judgement will commence next Friday.

Despite our own desire to run amok and wreak havoc until the cataclysm, the Dan’s Hamptons staff wants to make sure you know this thing is for real. We’re taking time out of our last week on Earth to provide proof so you can go out and cause some mayhem of your own.


There’s a great disturbance in the Force, and it’s got Armageddon written all over it.

Long Islanders got a small taste of what the End Times might look like when Superstorm Sandy hit our shores back in October, but it was the Long Island Power Authority’s sorry response that really portends our bleak and imminent future.

The world must be ending when a company with virtually no competitors and a stranglehold on 7,568,304 people—not to mention some of the highest electricity rates in the country—couldn’t manage to restore power to its customers in a timely manner. And this was after the utility had similar failings in the wake of Hurricane Irene one year before.

It should also be noted that LIPA has yet to remove all the double utility poles around Suffolk County. Maybe it’s because no one will care while traversing the barren, scorched post-apocalyptic landscape.

The fact that LIPA’s acting CEO Michael Hervey, Customer Service Vice President Bruce Germano and Trustee X. Cristofer Damianos are jumping ship is further evidence that the utility could be responsible for the end of the world. No one wants to be part of that.

Even our governor, Andrew M. Cuomo said LIPA “has to end,” and now there’s talk of the state-run utility becoming privatized. It might help, but privatizing utilities sound like trouble. Next we’ll find out the federal government is paying bills for major corporations…

Fight the Power!

Check back tomorrow for DAY 5 evidence that the cataclysm will strike on December 21, 2012.

Read earlier posts from Countdown to the 12-21-12 Apocalypse here: DAY 1DAY 2DAY 3

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