Hamptons Police Blotter: Illegal Fireworks Seized, McGumbus Looks To Open A Shelter Island Brothel Boat

This week in the Hamptons police were on the hunt for an illegal fireworks maker and firefighters had to douse a blaze after a 1967 Pontiac GTO caught fire. Old Man McGumbus on Shelter Island was also in the headlines, he’s looking to start a business that has Shelter Island authorities upset. Only in the Hamptons.

Ten Times Not a Charm

An officer running the name of a man he’d pulled over in East Hampton discovered that the driver’s license had been suspended for drinking and driving charges in the past. After a little bit more looking, the officer found the man has a rap sheet that includes nine DWIs. The man was taken into police custody.


Illegal Fireworks

A man was arrested for setting off illegal fireworks on the beach in Montauk. He told police that he got the fireworks from an old Chinese man who said he lives on a fishing boat in Montauk. Police are searching for the fireworks maker.


On Fire

A red 1967 Pontiac GTO mysteriously went ablaze after its owner started the car. The East Hampton Fire Department responded to the incident and put out the car fire, and there were no injuries. The owner told police at the scene that he was considering getting a Firebird for his next car, but probably won’t now.


Not on Fire

You may have seen firemen spraying down a brand new fire truck in Amagansett last week, but not to worry, there was no fire—it was just a ceremony that firemen do when they receive a new truck for the department. The Amagansett Fire Department’s new truck was soaked down to its last bolt with cold water from neighboring fire departments in a tradition that goes back 10 million years. Well, not that far back, but it’s a nice tradition.


Shelter Island

In an effort to legitimatize his brothel business, Mustang Clams, Old Man McGumbus, 102 years old and decorated World War II veteran, presented to the Shelter Island Authority on Business and Shellfishing Board a plan that has many lawyers on Long Island scratching their heads. McGumbus, who has been arrested 97 times for various crimes involving prostitution, presented a plan for a 67-foot-long houseboat that he would like to sail around Shelter Island three days a week, on which he would house professional prostitutes brought over from Amsterdam, while ferrying customers back and fourth via kayak. The board abstained from voting on the plan. McGumbus was quoted at the meeting, “Honestly, I just don’t see what’s so wrong with the idea. There are plenty of big boats here.”


Hanging in the Hot Tub

Neighbors in Southampton complained about a man who was throwing a hot tub party at his home that went on for two nights straight. On the second evening, police arrived at the home to see if the owners would quiet down the party. The owner agreed and said they’d take the party inside. After two nights at a hot tub party, you’d probably do the same thing.


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