Bathing Corporation of Flanders Coming for Summer 2014

At The Flanders Bathing Corporation
At The Flanders Bathing Corporation, Photo: Zoonar RF/Zooner/Valueline/Valueline/Ma-Ke/iStock/Thinkstock

In case you are not familiar, The Bathing Corporation of Southampton is an exclusive members-only beach club for only the most privileged of guests. If you don’t have social etiquette, coupled with fine breeding, you have no chance of entry. And did I mention you will also need to be rich?

Founded in 1923, The Bathing Corporation is one of the hardest clubs in in the United States to join. They have been known to turn away billionaires, major celebrities and titans of industry, among other important people.

Given how difficult it is to become a member, you can imagine how exciting it would be to get a postcard in the mail with an invitation to join the club. However, calling to ask them to break the $30,000-plus entrance fee into 12 easy payments would certainly result in a dial tone on the other end.

This high level of exclusivity and cost inspired the Bathing Corporation of Flanders (BCF).

The new club is not for blue bloods but rather for blue collar. With a beautiful location overlooking Reeves Bay, the BCF has everything The Bathing Corporation of Southampton has and more.

And unlike those snooty South Fork clubs, this is a true Bathing Club. Hop in the bay and feel free to cleanse away the stress and dirt of modern society and the work-a-day world.

Don’t like to wear a bathing suit? No problem! At BCF, clothing is optional. Best of all—membership includes free soap and loofas. Washcloths and towels are also provided.

We’ve thought of everything at BCF. Forget your toenail clippers? We’ve got loaners. Like to fish? Feel free to bring along your pole. Need someone to slather on the suntan lotion? Just say the word and someone will be there in a jiffy. Need a couple weenies and a cold brew? We’ve got food carts stationed in various areas of the BCF grounds.

And you want to talk convenience—we have porta-potties all over the beach, so you are never more than 25 feet from relief whenever the need should arise (and the bay won’t suffice).

BCF encourages all members you to bring Fido or Fluffy along. All we ask is if he or she has an accident on the beach, you be courteous to fellow bathers and bury the offending excretion in the sand.

Perhaps best of all is the fact that our screening methods are not as rigid as other area bathing clubs. BCF accepts anyone who can pay the nominal $20 fee.

Coming Summer 2014 – The Bathing Corporation of Flanders…The Way Bathing Is Meant to Be!

Note: Due to an overwhelming demand, our website has crashed, so if you would like an application, please leave us a comment below or send a private message on Dan’s Papers’ Facebook or Twitter page and we will get one to you ASAP.

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