Police Blotter

Montauk Refugees Flood East Hampton

Amagansett officials reported an emergency situation and deployed special police units this week as Montauk residents fleeing the chaos and lawlessness of Montauk made their way across the wastes of Napeague and amassed, tired and desperate, at the eastern border of Amagansett.

Many of the refugees were very hungry, and Amagansett’s food systems were strained as officials worked to provide them with sufficient supplies of fried seafood, recently replenished coleslaw and rosé.

“We’ve been expecting this all summer,” police spokesman Larry Hirsch said. “As the marauding hordes of young people have moved into Montauk, bringing partying, drunkenness and loud music, making it a harsh and increasingly uninhabitable scene of chaos and disruption, the peace-loving full-time residents of the hamlet have been forced to flee,” he added. “Naturally, they find that crossing Napeague is a pretty dicey move—those who are tempted to stop halfway for a lobster roll seldom make it the rest of the way.”

Officials in Amagansett are trying to accommodate as many of the displaced as they can in the limited number of hotel rooms that haven’t been rented yet. Meanwhile, the remaining refugees have been turned loose in the village, where they’ve been seen dining at Amagansett Square restaurants and dancing at Stephen Talkhouse.

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