Police Blotter

Furry Fiasco: Rescue Dogs and Cats Run Wild

The Hamptons Police Department was called to reestablish order in the offices of a local business after a “Tailwaggin’ Tuesday” event went off the rails.

Hamptons Police spokesman Larry Hirsch explained the event and how it went wrong:

“Every week, the local animal shelters set up a ‘Tailwaggin’ Tuesday,’ during which they bring cages full of adoptable pets to local workplaces to provide feline and canine companionship to people in the midst of their busy workdays. It would seem that on this occasion, some of the office workers at this particular location felt it unfair that the cats and dogs had to spend the day in small cages, and they thought it would be a good idea to let them out to stretch their legs a little.”

Hirsch noted that the ensuing mayhem was probably exacerbated by an employee appreciation lunch buffet going on in the same space.

“Once they were out of their cages, the cats and dogs might have confined their attentions to fighting amongst themselves if it hadn’t been for the trays full of chicken and sausage over in the corner—they were on that pretty quick.”

In the resulting pandemonium, computer systems, file cabinets and desks were laid to waste as the excited animals, about 24 dogs and cats, scrambled to gain access to the buffet. Animal control officers were eventually able to coax the animals back into their cages, but the business owners estimate considerable losses in time and equipment.

No adoptions were made on this particular afternoon.

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