Police Blotter

Hamptons Revolutionary War Reenactment Draws Opposition

An area encampment of Revolutionary War re-enactors was raided late Saturday night by an opposing group of redcoat-wearing, British-aligned re-enactors.

The resulting fighting, which is being described as more of a skirmish than a full-fledged battle, resulted in no significant injuries. However, the re-enactors on the American side reported to the Hamptons Police Department that the British-aligned re-enactors had stolen several chickens from the American encampment—chickens that the re-enactors had been planning to roast.

“They say they had four chickens when they arrived,” Hamptons Police spokesman Larry Hirsch said, “but we only have their word for it. Just because they’re dressed as Revolutionary War patriots doesn’t mean we should believe everything they say.”

Hirsch reported that police had instituted a search for the marauding redcoats and the missing chickens, but had yet to turn up anything.

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