Police Blotter

Hamptons EMS Warns Shoppers: Avoid Undue Exposure to Holiday Songs

A Springs man suffered a fit at a local department store on Thursday evening, and emergency medical personnel were called to administer first aid.

Thomas Melior, 56, was revived and transported to hospital for tests. So far doctors are not sure what prompted the attack, but they say that Melior had been holiday shopping for presents for his family for several hours and had likely heard “Jingle Bell Rock” seven or eight times in that period. According to officials, and a group of leading local experts, this level of exposure to the song can be dangerous.

“We recommend shorter shopping trips to avoid hearing ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ more than twice in any 12-hour period,” says Suzanne Felsingham of the Hamptons Emergency Medical Squad.

The experts, who were also called upon during the formation of local live music laws—including the banning of various cover tunes and Jimmy Buffett songs played without Buffett—have also warned shoppers that The Waitresses’ 1981 holiday hit “Christmas Wrapping” may also have such adverse effects on anyone forced to hear the song more than once in a two-hour period.

“And don’t even get me started on Elmo & Patsy’s ‘Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,'” auditory specialist Ben Zodizapine said. “I would recommend people avoid that ditty altogether.”

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