Police Blotter

Volunteer Police Needed During Hamptons PD Acapulco Trip

The Hamptons Police are scheduled to begin a monthlong winter break in Acapulco, Mexico shortly, but the department announced this week that volunteers are still needed to cover duties while they’re away.

“It’s strange how low our recruitment has been this year,” Hamptons Police spokesman Larry Hirsch said Wednesday. “You’d think that ordinary people would jump at the chance to be cops for a month—access to souped-up squad cars, firearms, the ability to arrest whoever you want. This is just to let people know that there’s still time to sign up. Believe me—this is a fun gig!”

The Acapulco trip has been scheduled since late January when Hamptons Police Department heads assessed 2017’s “skyrocketing arrest rates” and decided they would need to “chill a little bit” in 2018.  “You have to realize, it’s not just the arrest,” Hamptons Police spokesman Larry Hirsch said at the time, pointing out, “Afterwards, there’s paperwork, court dates, testimony—it’s endless. We have to step back and consider whether it’s all worth it.”

After some blowback from certain community members, the trip was delayed by a couple weeks, but Hirsch says HPD will be leaving in a matter of days “with or without volunteers to cover our shifts.” The time off in Acapulco will be used to determine whether or not easing up is a good idea, especially once summer crowds arrive.

“We’ll have answers when we return,” Hirsch said. “And hopefully a tan.”

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