Signs Point to Scandal for Artists and Writers Game

Artists and Writers Game pitching sign decoded
Artists and Writers Game pitching sign decoded, Photo: Wang Tom/123RF

Following a shocking revelation involving accusations of sign stealing at the Annual East Hampton Artists and Writers Charity Softball Game, Hampton Police Department detectives are currently reviewing years of footage from the event. In doing so, HPD has also discovered numerous incidents of players who are neither “artist” nor “writer” being allowed to play due to celebrity status or skill with a bat and ball.

“These allegations of sign stealing, from both sides, have gone on for years, but they gained merit this winter when an unbiased biographer discovered detailed notes about the Artists team pitching signs in the journals of the late author and Writers team regular who he’s studying for an upcoming book,” Hamptons Police spokesman Rex Gallant revealed this week. “It was truly jaw-dropping to behold the labors this author had gone through to crack the opposing team’s signs, usually shared between coach, catcher and pitcher.”

Hamptons Police issued a search warrant following the journal coming to light, and an exhaustive exploration of the author’s archives led officers to even more evidence, including videos of players and coaches using signs, and notes comparing the videos to play-by-plays from the games where they were used.

“Frankly, we were pretty shocked, but things got worse from there,” Gallant said, noting that the Artists appear to have done similar research, as documented in the late author’s massive collection of notebooks and papers. Though it’s never been much of a secret, both teams also seem to have made efforts to recruit talented players who weren’t necessarily artists or writers.

“There is much left to unfurl, and we’re not sure where this case leaves the future of our beloved East End institution,” Gallant said sadly, but then promised justice would be done.

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