Hamptons Subway Sued After Loud Noise Complaints

SCENE ON THE SUBWAY

Hillary and Bill Clinton were seen sitting hand in hand together in a subway car between East Hampton and Amagansett. They sometimes rent houses in Georgica in the summer. Is romance being rekindled?

THE HEAT IS ON

The heat has now been turned on, on all the platforms in the system. There used to be heat in the tunnels themselves, but five years ago, because we saw this as unnecessary since nobody is outdoors in the tunnels (or should be), we separated that system and turned it off as a salute to saving energy for the environment. In most seasons, you do not notice this. But this winter, when the temperature got so low and snow was everywhere, people began to feel a blast of cold air on the platforms once in awhile on a cold day, which turned out to be heralding the coming of the next train. So the heat in the tunnels is now on.

GIFT TO ALL RIDERS

The last week in February is Birthday Cake Week. Hamptons Subway celebrates by giving everybody who uses the subway a slice of birthday cake as they come through the turnstiles. Please bring your own plate and fork as the subway does not have the 10,000 or so plates and forks that would be needed for everybody. If you don’t bring a plate and fork, it will be a big mess and you can count on it.

TRAIN SURFING

People should be advised, particularly young people, that train surfing, which is defined as pressing yourself against the sliding doors on the outside after they close and by pushing up and to the sides of the outside door moldings staying like that until the next station – is entirely stupid and should not be done even if someone double dares you. There is no law against the practice, however, but there should be one, because you could be surfing your life away.

WHEEL NOISE LAWSUIT

A group of subway riders have filed a $2 million lawsuit against the Hampton Subway in objection to the loud screeching noise the subway makes as it rounds the bend under Trout Pond in Noyac. Please be advised that new trackage is supposed to be in place at that turn next year, but because of the lawsuit we are diverting some of the arriving tracks in the next few weeks to Noyac to see if we can get them to fit there. It is top secret from the other location these tracks are being taken from.

NUPTIALS AHEAD?

Are wedding bells in the cards for Token Clerk Annie Brody and Flagman Tommy Thompson? They were seen last week holding hands in the company cafeteria. Then they were seen arguing about something then tearfully making up. Then they were seen with her head resting on his shoulder sitting on the subway going from Hampton Bays to Southampton yesterday.

SUBWAY TV

Those TV sets, which have been dark since they were put up four months ago, will come alive next week so subway riders can watch baseball’s opening day as they go where they have to get. There had been problems with paperwork and permits and Optimum but that’s all been straightened out. One full route around the subway system from Montauk to Westhampton takes about an hour and 15 minutes, so two round trips should allow you to watch the whole game, if it doesn’t go into extra innings.

TINTED GLASS

At the suggestion of one of our riders, who dropped a note into one of our suggestion boxes (located on the back of all token booths), we ordered 50 panels of tinted glass and tried them out in one of our subway cars as a test for a week. Most people hated them. Surveys showed they felt they made the subway ride dark and gloomy. Some said it made them start to cry. We have removed the tinted glass.

UNDERGROUND PARKING

Hamptons Subway has begun to break ground, if you can call it that, on a double-decker parking garage underground beneath the Village of Sag Harbor. Motorists will be able to come out to the Hamptons, park their cars in this garage, and then take the subway to whatever town they wish. This parking garage will not, we repeat, not be open to the general public. We cannot prevent access to it from the entrance on Long Island Avenue, but signs will warn you not to go in unless you plan to use the subway. From inside, you only exit the parking garage to the subway platform. You won’t have access to the garage otherwise.

COMMISSIONER BILL ASPINALL’S MESSAGE

Hamptons Subway is on the move. As you have read above, we are building an underground parking lot for our straphangers in Sag Harbor, and we are planning to enlarge the tunnel between Amagansett to Montauk to accommodate a double track between those two stations due to the increase in ridership there. Also in the works is a planned subway spur that could link up Water Mill and Noyac, making it easier to get between those two stations without having to go around the horn, so to speak. You’ll read more about that next week.