Featured Storiesuncategorized

Countdown to the 12-21-12 Apocalypse: Top 10

How much proof do you need?

The world is ending when the Mayan calendar finishes its cycle on 12-21-12 or December 21, 2012, which means we literally have just two days left until Quetzacotal or some other horrible heathen god strikes us down.

Dan’s Hamptons is begging you to stop ignoring the facts and start enjoying your life! Everything you’re doing for the good of society and the planet is for nothing. Stop recycling, stop going to work or school and spend your last two days in hedonistic bliss.

We offer one more tidbit of evidence that Doomsday is coming.


As just two days remain until it’s all over, we thought it appropriate to look back and find the Top 10 signs of the coming apocalypse. These omens appeared throughout the year, so here they are in one place.

10. Mitt Romney lost the 2012 presidential election despite his Monogram Shop cup victory.

9. Southampton schools eliminated Valedictorian and Salutatorian distinctions, class ranking and competitive sports.

8. No Hamptons celebs were named among 2012’s 99 Most Desirable Women.

7. Werewolf Path is on Google Maps and Hagstrom, yet Southampton Town won’t make it official.

6. NBC’s 30 Rock is ending. (Too bad we won’t be alive to see what Alec Baldwin develops in its stead)

5. Kelly Laffey ate her first Egg McMuffin and she’s still running her first marathon.

4. Dan Rattiner invented two holidays and rewrote the classics.

3. Tate’s Bake Shop‘s cookie and ice cream treat, the “Tatewich,” was invented. (Nothing else needs to be accomplished)

2. Jason Kidd’s Knicks lost a home game.

1. Dan’s Hamptons came out with our Countdown to the 12-21-12 Apocalypse, and if it’s in Dan’s, it has to be real.

Submit your best proof of the coming Armageddon in our comments below! We may add them to our final two installments of the Countdown.

You can die as a published writer!

Check back tomorrow for DAY 9 of our Countdown to the 12-21-12 Apocalypse, which begins December 21, 2012.

Read earlier evidence: DAY 1DAY 2DAY 3DAY 4DAY 5, DAY 6, DAY 7

Dan's Papers and The Walking Dead Mash Up
Graphic: Dennis Rodriguez
Facebook Comments

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *