The Oh No File: Hamptons Wine Reviews

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Graphic: Oliver Peterson

We all love local wines, but Hamptons wine reviews from “The Oh No File” examine other wonderful selections from vintners around the world, and vintages throughout the last century. Check your local wine seller or liquor store before going online to find these rare treasures.

W &J Graham & Co., Vintage Port Wine, Portugal  1955
Festive and complex, this gem from one of the most underrated Port vintages enjoys an amber hue with hints of rainbow-ed lamp oil sheen common among wines from a period when Portugal was just developing electric power. The slippery tongue shares an anachronistic blend of raspberry and third world burlap clothes, building toward something closer to Spanish varietals with hints of paper and canned fish. Flavor fell into crisis in 2008, but expect large improvements in 2014—though this is largely dependent on performance of other European wines.

Chateau Lafite Rothschild, France – 1999

Chateau Lafite Rothschild, France – 1999
Selling for about $1,000 per bottle, this elegant red mixes Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot with aplomb. Perfect for afternoons on the yacht. Not perfect for pouring on the graves of fallen homies. Excellent for after hunting fox. Not excellent for hunting sasquatch. Delicious with Kobe beef. Not recommended with a Slim Jim beef stick.

Chateau De Russol, “Minervois,” France  1982
A delightful Cardassian gul with universal appeal, this basement red smacks of mildew, crawlspace and spider thorax. It has been lovingly fermented on humanoid neck and forehead ridges, leaving its Alpha Quadrant with well-appointed notes of woodsmoke, roasted meat and plastic action figure legs. Drink now through stardate 2374.

The Holy Trinity, Grenache Shiraz Mourvedre, Australia – 1999
Photo: Kwong Yee Cheng

The Holy Trinity, Grenache Shiraz Mourvedre, Australia – 1999
Though few know exactly how it miraculously came to be, this “elixir of the gods” was first made near Jerusalem on Palestine’s West Bank by the daughter of a local vintner without his help, or that of any other man. First celebrated, the wine’s provenance was later questioned, eventually leading its creator to flee with the recipe to Australia. Years later, the current vintners actively work toward adding other wineries to the Holy Trinity label. It has a lovely nose of tree resin and a wise golden hue. Drink until the day someone judges you for it.

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