Blog Du Jour

Catcalls: What’s Wrong With Hamptons Women and Gay Men?

Is it possible that the Hamptons are filled with sexually repressed women and ineffectual men? Recent data says yes.

It all started when a video of Shoshana Roberts was released. What began as a simple experiment, where she walked the streets of New York City and recorded being “catcalled,” ended with her having been harassed more than 100 times in 10 hours. The video got more than 15 million hits in the first three days it was live.

Some refer to catcalling as being complimentary to women, while others see it as sexual harassment.

The word “catcalling” actually dates back to the mid-17th century and describes when a whistle or instrument was used to express disapproval at the theater. However, in modern day America, it mostly describes a whistle or comment of a sexual nature, made by a man to a passing woman.

I wondered what would happen if a woman presented herself on our streets in the same way as Ms. Roberts.

Unfortunately, I was unable to locate a woman who was willing to help reproduce Roberts’ experiment. Not to be deterred—in a reversal of the Roberts experiment, I decided to be the “bait” and walk the streets of the Sag Harbor in order to elicit catcalls from women and perhaps even gay men.

It took me more than two days to find the right apparel. A pair of very tight vintage 1970s men’s short shorts seemed like a perfect choice. I completed the ensemble with a muscleman tee and a pair of Birkenstocks. For added emphasis, I stuffed a pair of socks down the front of the shorts.

I started outside of the Marina Complex. I made my way up past the Whalers Museum, the Theater and to the end of the wharf and back, all the while giving off my best sex vibe. I worked both sides of the street like a two-dollar sex worker. I must have passed by The American Hotel 20 times.

The result? Four hours of street walking and nada, zip, zero, nothing. Sure I got some interesting looks, but despite having come in contact with hundreds of women-not a single catcall.

To add insult to injury, I could not inspire even a single catcall from several men that I suspect were of homosexual orientation.

Come on, people, are we not all animals?

One can only deduce that the women of the Hamptons are sexually repressed and thus lacking the verbal communication skills necessary to compliment a man such as myself, by letting him know that they are desirous of exploring a sexual relationship.

As for the gay men of the Hamptons, the only plausible explanation is that they are all eunuchs and incapable of physical attraction.

Calling all catcallers. It’s sad that we live in an area where a decent man, with obvious game, can’t walk the streets and at least get a little appreciation or acknowledgement that he’s desired.

But all is not lost on the experiment. At least I have a nice outfit to wear to the next Dan’s Papers event.

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