Celebrity Spotters Wanted in the Hamptons

Celebrities have long enjoyed the Hamptons as a place of refuge from the incessant harassment of the paparazzi. It has been a safe-haven where stars could enjoy life without the constant worry of cameras being pushed in their faces. Not anymore, say the folks recruiting an army of college-age Hamptons celebrity spotters this summer.

And we have plenty of celebrities to spot. Jay Z and Beyoncé, Scarlett Johansson, Madonna and Jennifer Lopez are just some names among the hundreds of rich and famous who own or rent homes here, in large part because they can relax in relative privacy.

Of course, an argument could be made that all that changed when the Kardashians rolled into town to film Kourtney & Khloe Take the Hamptons last summer. But most us realize the media circus that followed was both invited and welcomed by the show’s producers.

Whatever the situation, if this company has its way, the privacy enjoyed by those people of interest is about to be compromised with the assistance of a bunch of college students.

One of my friend’s sons attends a well-known Ivy League school. Knowing I live in the Hamptons, the father forwarded me an email citing a flyer that was posted on the bulletin board at his son’s dorm. This is what it says:

Wanted – Summer Celebrity Spotters. Would you enjoy spending the summer in the idyllic setting of the Hamptons? We provide group housing, meal allowances, equipment and training. We are seeking spotters to camp out at various locations and take pictures, video or audio of vacationing and local celebrities. We will teach you how to capture the perfect moment. All Spotter submissions used will be entitled to a 10% publication commission. Interested parties should contact Brian Hughes on the second floor.

So the way I understand it, this is how it works: A company rents a house in the Hamptons for the summer and convinces a bunch of college students that they can enjoy a beautiful Hamptons vacation and make some money in return for stalking celebrities and attempting to catch them in unflattering situations.

Anyone who has seen the tabloids knows that the real money shot is the celebrity is without makeup, drinking, smoking or even trying to respond to an outrageous question or insult posed by the person attempting to take the picture. If a bikini gets wet and unknowingly becomes see-through, all the better. Baby stretch marks or having a bad hair day could mean big money as well.

What will become of our island paradise if we surrender our privacy by letting these invading paparazzi into our backyard? I will not stand by and permit this to happen. My avenue of retaliation is one that is neither mature nor responsible, but at least it is something. So beware, my Ivy League subjects, because every-time I come across you this summer, there will be a flying loogie headed in your direction. Maybe that will be my money shot?

Note: If this wasn’t enough, OK! magazine now has its OK Celeb Spotter iPhone app, a proximity-based social network for users to report celebrity sightings in real time. Because it uses geo-tagging features, it makes celebrity hunting much easier. If you’re into that sort of thing.

Read more blogs by Mr. Sneiv!