The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of June 5–11, 2015

Week of June 5–11, 2015
Riders this past week: 24,412
Rider miles this past week: 200,810

DOWN IN THE TUBE
As you probably know, the Hamptons Subway has a lavish subway car decked out in leather and mahogany called El Presidente, which can be rented for private parties. Last Thursday it was rented by Dan’s Papers, and, attached to a regular subway train for a late-night two-hour jaunt around the system, it became a party for all those who are contributing to the Dan’s Papers Literary Prize Award Ceremony on September 3. Onboard, among others, were Amagansett actor Alec Baldwin, Southampton author Tom Wolfe, East Hampton cartoonist Jules Feiffer, radio commentator Pia Lindström, Barnes & Noble Chairman Len Riggio and Manhattan Media Chairman Richard Burns. Entertaining was a quartet from the Perlman Music Program. Also in attendance were Anne Chaisson and David Nugent from the Hamptons International Film Festival (HIFF), who are curating a film for the conclusion of the awards ceremony. Enter the essay contest before August 15. Winning entries get cash prizes of up to $5,000. Go to LiteraryPrize.DansPapers.com to enter.

PRANK CAUSES DELAY
It must have been some school kids who covered up the “South Hampton” sign on the platform at Southampton with one reading Westhampton Beach last Thursday. It was enough to confuse westbound motorman Arnold Pettington, though, who in spite of his years of experience pulled into the Southampton station thinking he must have fallen asleep at the wheel to arrive at Westhampton Beach. He remained there, confused, for nearly an hour, wondering what he should do next. Investigators are grilling local school kids to learn more.

SUBWAY STATION NAMES
An occasional lesson is necessary to explain the strange interpretation of the names on the tile walls of some of our stations. Southampton says “South Hampton.” East Hampton says “Easthampton.” And Westhampton Beach says “West Hampton Beach.”

The subway was originally built with subway construction material left over from the building of the Lexington Avenue line in Manhattan in 1932. Construction company owner Ivan Kratz intended to sell half the double-ordered material, thus pocketing a huge profit, but when the cops got on his trail, he had all that extra material hauled out to the Hamptons, where he hid it underground to become the Hamptons Subway system. Unfamiliar with the community, he failed to spell our town names right at the stations. But they are spelled out in small magenta colored tiles on the cream-colored tile walls so they’ve never been repaired. Who could match up the colors of those old tiles anyway? So we’ve made do, and that’s the story.

PUSHER BOXING
In the interval between Memorial Day and the Fourth of July, our young team of “platform pushers” are off duty, because there are not enough crowds on the platforms to have to push onto the subway cars. As the pushers we hired are equipped with helmets, boxing gloves and chest protectors, they decided to hold a boxing competition to take up the time. So far, Arielle Bensonhurst, a young college student from Carnegie-Mellon in Pittsburgh studying Physical Education, has bested everyone, including the boys. Congrats go out to her.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
The beach spurs that take bathers from Main Street down to Coopers Beach in Southampton and Main Beach in East Hampton are now open. We hope you enjoy them. Just remember, there’s no dancing in the aisles.

It must have been some school kids who covered up the “South Hampton” sign on the platform at Southampton with one reading Westhampton Beach last Thursday. It was enough to confuse westbound motorman Arnold Pettington, though, who in spite of his years of experience pulled into the Southampton station thinking he must have fallen asleep at the wheel to arrive at Westhampton Beach. He remained there, confused, for nearly an hour, wondering what he should do next. Investigators are grilling local school kids to learn more.

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