The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of December 3–9, 2015

Week of December 3–9, 2015
Riders this past week: 7,832
Rider miles this past week: 92,411

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Some local politicians were seen traveling from Southampton to Bridgehampton late Wednesday morning, lost in animated conversation about something. They were State Assemblyman Fred Thiele, Southampton Town Supervisor–elect Jay Schneiderman, Southampton Village Mayor Mark Epley, East Hampton Town Supervisor Larry Cantwell and East Hampton Village Mayor Paul F. Rickenbach, Jr. As they came again in the early afternoon traveling again from Southampton to Bridgehampton we can only conclude they were so lost in whatever they were talking about, they forgot to get off and so went around again.

REINDEER ON THE TRACKS DELAY
It’s rare to see a reindeer this far south, but Spike Trump, the younger brother of Donald Trump and a longtime motorman on Hampton Subway, reported seeing one on the tracks between Bridgehampton and Sag Harbor on Wednesday evening. He radioed for reinforcements and members of the local Animal Rescue and Don’t Harm Them Hospital in Riverhead came and with nets rounded it up and took it up to their facility for a look-over. He had bells on his harness and a little red cap on his head and seemed to be in a jolly mood, and as there was nothing wrong with him and he had been found in the wild, so to speak, he was returned to where they found him and Hampton Subway just had to wait to see what he would do. Finally, causing this second one-hour delay, he walked down the tracks to Sag Harbor, took the escalator to the street and flew off.

BRIGADIER GENERAL CLARENCE HOWE
General Howe, who works as a security consultant for Hampton Subway, is celebrating is 62nd birthday next Thursday with a big party on the roof deck of the Hampton Subway headquarters building, weather permitting. If it does permit, a cake will be cut, the candles blown out and a 62 gun salute performed by the Veterans of Foreign Wars firing their rifles in the air at exactly 2:30 p.m. just after the candle blow out ceremony. Everyone is welcome, but if you cannot come, please stay indoors within eight miles of downtown Hampton Bays between 2:30 and 2:32 p.m. that day to stay clear of possible falling bullets. No presents please.

SUBWAY CARS HOOKED UP
Harry Blatworst, the supervisor of the maintenance crew out at the Montauk Yards, noticed last Wednesday night at 2 a.m. that subway cars #24 and #19 were hooked up together again, which is not unusual, but is unusual if the hook up lasts more than a few days. As near as anybody knows, these two cars have been hooked up every day since the middle of last August and apparently nobody has done anything to separate them in all that time. They perform their service on one subway train or another, always hooked up, in spite of all attempts to either pull, wiggle or blowtorch them apart. Some times things are just made to stay together like this forever and ever and we wish them the best.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
By now, you should have gotten a letter from us by the U.S. Postal Service inviting you to the plethora of events being held between now and the New Year, all as part of the public relations and marketing program instituted around five years ago. If you have not gotten any invitation yet, please call our office in Hampton Bays and ask them why not, and if they tell you you’ve been thrown off the list for one thing or another, don’t feel bad. It happens to everybody at one time or another.

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