Police Blotter

Hamptons Police Bust Dried Meats Nightclub on Shelter Island

Hamptons Police Department officers on Shelter Island this week announced the discovery and shutting down of an illegal nightclub that had been operating in a disused barn for the past year.

According to police, the nightclub was called “Mickey G’s,” and it had been on their radar for quite some time.

“We put the area under surveillance in mid-March,” says Hamptons Police Shelter Island Division spokesman Larry Hirsch (who is not related to Larry Hirsch, spokesman of the Hamptons Police Department). “We were alerted to it by neighbors who complained about noise and an overpowering smell of rancid meats. But it took quite a long time for us to get to the bottom of what was going on there.”

Hirsch says that, while initially police suspected the space was being used as an unlicensed meat processing facility, they were surprised by the large numbers of people coming and going in the late evening hours and by the loud disco music.

“After several months of surveillance,” Hirsch says, “last week we decided we were ready to send some undercover guys in. They were not prepared for what they found in there.”

According to the police spokesman, the ground floor the barn had been converted to a dance club, while the top floor featured a facility set up for drying meats.

“Large quantities of unidentified animal parts were strung up to the ceiling, evidently to provide fresh jerky to serve at the bar. The smell was…not pleasant,” one officer explained.

It was during their investigations that the undercover officers learned the nightclub was known to its habitués as “Mickey G’s,” after its proprietor, one Mr. John McGumbus. It is not known if this John McGumbus is related to Shelter Island’s famed Old Man McGumbus, or indeed whether they are in fact one in the same—police are currently looking for both men.

Meanwhile, the nightclub was shut down permanently on Saturday night.

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