Police Blotter

Bow Hunter Arrested with Boxing Glove Arrows in Hamptons

Hamptons Police Department officers arrested Evander Horowitz Bennington III on Wednesday after he was found to be bow hunting in restricted areas of East Hampton and Sag Harbor over three days on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Bennington, who was using only arrows tipped with boxing gloves, has argued that the non-lethal projectiles, typically seen in cartoons and the pages comic books, makes him exempt from the law.

The Hampton Municipal Board’s attorneys, who have been furiously reviewing these claims, are calling Bennington an activist, but they’ve not yet determined whether he’s in favor of hunting regulations and exposing a loophole, or if he’s legitimately against them.

Of course it’s possible Bennington is simply a superhero, or trick arrow enthusiast with no political motivations.

Bennington’s lawyer, Archibald Greyling, is arguing that boxing glove arrows are highly ineffective and will, at best, bruise their intended target. “These arrows are even more likely to simply flop to the ground the moment an archer looses them,” Greyling said, noting that the arrest was “ludicrous” and would be shot down out of hand in court. “Even the most skilled yeoman would have difficulty making these take flight,” the lawyer added.

Hamptons Police Department spokesman Larry Hirsch says officers are still investigating the matter. “We are currently petitioning for a warrant to search Mr. Horowitz Bennington III’s home,” Hirsch said. “We have it on good authority the suspect is also in possession of boomerang arrows, smoke arrows, glue arrows, octopus arrows, ricochet arrows, parachute arrows, handcuff arrows, gas arrows, Greek fire arrows, cobweb arrows and many others in his quiver.”

Read more tales from the Hampton Police Blotter.

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