South O’ the Highway

Hamptons Billionaire Derwood Hodgegrass and Rich Pals Try Work on Labor Day

The wealthy crew say working will be a lark.

Southampton billionaire Derwood Hodgegrass is honoring Labor Day this year by trying his hand at labor. The eccentric bon vivant and as many as 30 of his wealthiest friends are promising to spend eight full hours trying their hand at physical work on Monday, September 3.

“I’ve given the work crew building my new pool the day off on Monday,” Hodgegrass told DansPapers.com on Thursday. “We’re all rather tickled at the idea of grabbing some shovels and some big machines, and doing the digging ourselves.”

Hodgegrass recently secured his long awaited approval to build a 150-yard pool he’s calling Sea-lysium, “the biggest pool America has ever seen.” The pool will include multiple islands throughout its watery expanse, including a bar, a tanning deck and “a tented place for lovemaking.”

Artist rendering of
Artist rendering of “Sea-lysium” by Jacque di Broviante

Construction crews recently began the initial planning and preparation of the land, which encompasses three acres of farmland, just yards from the beach. “We’re going to break ground and enjoy a day of working like real men,” Hodgegrass said, “like all the wonderful plebes we deal with here in the Hamptons.”

Though he would not reveal names, Hodgegrass says he has a “unique group of scoundrels” joining the dig, including “hedge funders, actors, producers and even an heiress.” The absurdly wealthy labor force spent much of the weekend meeting with experts to find the very best tools, gloves and other gear to make their work experience more bearable.

“You’d be amazed at the advancements we’ve found,” Hodgegrass said. “I’ve found shovels that make one feel like their barely exerting energy, but we’ll see how well they work after a few hours.”

While Hodgegrass and company will actually be digging and sweating in the dirt, dust and August heat, “we won’t be without our luxuries,” the billionaire explained. “I’ve arranged for multiple cocktail carts, a full buffet and a few servants to take care of my guests,” he added.

“But we’re really all just looking forward to understanding how the local blue collars spend their days,” Hodgegrass said. “It will be quite a lark!”

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