The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of January 4–10, 2019

Security cameras and “Courtesy is our Motto” patches are no more in 2019.

Week of January 4–10, 2019
Riders this past week: 31,922
Rider miles this past week: 91,412

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Polo player and top model Nacho Figueras was seen riding from East Hampton to Amagansett on Friday morning wearing a mink coat. Gwyneth Paltrow and Donna Karan were seen riding from Sag Harbor to Bridgehampton together on Saturday afternoon. Jimmy Fallon, smiling happily as always, was seen traveling on Hamptons Subway from Bridgehampton to Sagaponack on Sunday afternoon. Football star Eli Manning was seen carrying a bunch of gift-wrapped presents while taking a Hamptons Subway from Westhampton Beach to Eastport Thursday.

FOLKS FROM TOPEKA TOUR OUR SUBWAY
Thirty members of the Topeka Kansas Chamber of Commerce enjoyed a quick “12-hour” visit to the Hamptons last Sunday by riding around on the Hamptons Subway. They arrived by plane at the Westhampton Airport, took the escalator downstairs and the train to the next stop, which is Westhampton Beach, and got off for 10 minutes to “get a taste of Westhampton.”

They didn’t go up the escalator, though, because it was raining, and just hung around the platform talking to patrons about what Westhampton Beach was like, then got back on the next train to do the same thing at Quiogue. They were here all day getting off at every platform, one after another, to talk to people about what that village was like then proceeded to the next.

Back at the Westhampton Airport Stop at 6 p.m., weary and tired after their long day visiting each station, they told Hamptons Subway officials, who accompanied them back to their plane, that they learned a great deal about the Hamptons, everyone they talked to was kind and friendly, although a little rushed, and they were so glad they came. They said others in Topeka might come later this month to walk in their footsteps.

COURTESY TO OUR CELEBRANTS
New Year’s Day, about 30 celebrants were found asleep on various platforms and our courtesy program, as we explained in our holiday party bulletin, was to place red rubber highway cones next to them so regular riders would not step on them, then leave them alone until they woke up, at which time our team of volunteers offered them aspirin, Alka-Seltzer and black coffee, after which they were driven home—except for a few who could not remember where they lived.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
These are the New Year’s resolutions that we at Hamptons Subway make for 2019.

1. We will have fewer breakdowns of the service during 2019. We set a Hamptons Subway record last year. So we don’t have to aim to do that again this year. In 2019 it will be less.

2. We now have larger trashcans for our platforms. There will be no more overflowing cans of trash as we had last year which resulted in our removing the trashcans for the last half of 2018. Trash pickup will remain the same. But with the larger cans, we will have solved the overflow problem.

3. The dummy surveillance cameras we set up a year ago are being removed. We had thought that just the existence of them would reduce rowdy behavior, but since that did not happen, we are giving them away to the first person who stops by our office in Hampton Bays to get them. And no fighting over them, please.

4. Similarly, the “Courtesy is our Motto” patches that all employees of Hamptons Subway wore in 2018 will not be worn again this year. They did nothing and anyone caught wearing one will be punished. It was bad enough having some of the riders laughing at the employees.

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