The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of February 28–March 6, 2019

Katie Couric and Bobby Flay rode the Hamptons Subway this week.

Week of February 28–March 6, 2019
Riders this past week: 42,513
Rider miles this past week: 111,645

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Television personality Katie Couric was seen traveling with Bobby Flay from Southampton to Water Mill on Wednesday morning. Stylist Simon Doonan was seen traveling from Bridgehampton to North Haven Saturday afternoon where he intended to take the bridge to Shelter Island for an event. Calvin Klein and Vera Wang were seen traveling up in Noyac headed for North Haven last Thursday evening.

TRUMP-KIM ON SUBWAY?
Remember when Americans went to the moon and it turned out the whole thing was a fake and it happened in the Nevada desert while the cameras whirred? Well rumors are swirling that the Trump-Kim meeting about the nukes in North Korea did not take place in Hanoi, but instead took place on our specially fitted out “Internationale” subway car on Tuesday night. This is the top secret diplomatic subway car that rolls slowly around the tracks late at night after the subway system closes for maintenance. It is chartered by world leaders looking for privacy, an open bar, a staff and communications in a secure space. Many agreements have been worked out on the Internationale and nobody tells. Anyway, we’re not allowed to tell who is meeting on the Internationale this time either, but does the North Korean flag have a red star on it? Can’t say any more.

SUBWAY CARS AT COXES LEDGE
You may wonder where old broken Hamptons Subway cars go when they are beyond repair. They get towed to the Montauk Yards, taken out onto the dock and then put on barges to be taken out to the popular fishing spot called Coxes Ledge where they are dumped down 25 feet to the bottom of the sea. We’ve had a whole bunch of these old cars dumped down there. It has become a big fishing spot, but now the Ledge appears to be about to be leased out for fields of wind-powered turbines. So we’ll have to find a new spot. We hope they don’t require us to drag any of those already out there to some new spot. But if they do, not to worry, the fishing boats will follow.

BALLOON ROUNDUP GOES AWRY
The two dead-end subway line spurs that go to Cooper’s Beach in Southampton and Main Beach in East Hampton have been a focal point for a helium balloon clean up project this winter. The mile-long tunnels that end at those beaches are festively decorated at their entrances with surfboards, lifeguard buoys, beach blankets and helium balloons. Over the years, many balloons have gotten caught up in the rafters. And so, this January, we decided it was time to rake them down, put them in big sacks and take them to the town dump where they could be deflated and recycled.

We chartered 11 big flatbed trucks to go out to the beach, park at the doors on the dunes, and bring the thousands of sacks of balloons out the exit doors to the trucks, tie them down on the flatbeds and haul them away that way. But the wind gusted and the bags opened and all the balloons flew up into the sky and out over the ocean. Oh well, they’re out now anyway.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
I congratulate all the teams that worked to clear out the thousands of helium balloons from the dead-end spurs. It was a tough job, and many of the balloons had been up there for years. Maybe it didn’t work out, but the effort was made and I am proud of our team.

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