Dan’s Papers Trivia Team Pulls Out a Win

Dan, Dr. K., Stacy, Brendan and Kelly celebrate a hard-fought victory at Townline BBQ quiz night. Photo credit: The Spunky Brewsters

For the first time in weeks, the Dan’s Papers Trivia Team—Thursday Night AA—nailed a first-place finish and a whopping $68 each at Townline BBQ’s weekly trivia night.

I was the last to arrive, as per usual, and was charged with filling the beer pitcher. Anything for Thursday Night AA. I handed $20 to Quizmaster Paul before heading up to the bar, and when he gave me my change, I responded, “This will be good practice for the next time you hand me money tonight.”

Kelly Laffey, writer extraordinaire and a very specific kind of fortune teller?

Despite my initial confidence, the night was fraught with intensity at the table, and our first snafu came early in the opening round, titled “It’s So Cold.” Quizmaster Paul announced that he was about to ask the question posted on the Townline Facebook page earlier that day, a.k.a. “here’s a freebie, ya’ll!” and team leader Brendan and I—the most tech savvy of the group, as two of the other three members don’t even own a cellphone—tentatively turned to each other. Without even asking, we knew the answer to the question written on our faces. Did you check the Facebook page? No.

But like a slow motion scene in a horror movie, Paul continued:

“In 2013, a city in which country was named the Slurpee Capitol of the World for the 14th year in a row?”

Montauk was just named the country’s highest grossing. Is the U.S. too obvious an answer? We went with Japan. Wrong. The answer only required us to look up to America’s hat. That’s right, Canadians dig Slurpees. Who would have known that, eh?

We shook off the missed point, and after Round 1, we found ourselves one point out of first place in a multi-way tie for second.

The night continued in a tighter fashion than most. Ties for the top three in-the-money slots constantly defined the rounds, and we flirted with first, second and third place throughout the evening. Which meant that every point mattered. Damn you, Facebook. Shake it off. Shake it off. We rebounded by rocking Round 2’s “Get Your War On,” and won the bonus speed battle, scoring one of two Townline BBQ gift cards awarding during the night.

“Weekly World News,” Round 3, seemed tailor-made for Thursday Night AA. In preparation for the news round, Brendan had made a 20-question news quiz on Wednesday night and gave it out in the office on Thursday morning. I “won” that competition, scoring a whopping five out of 20. Despite a low top score, the quiz cued us into key news items—news items that Paul also found interesting. How did Brendan compile the quiz? You’ll have to get your war on for us to reveal our newfound study strategy.

We went on to dominate the “find the pattern” visual round, which asked us to identify the names of various fabric patterns. Thanks, not-tech-savvy-player-number-1, Stacy! (By the way, she makes awesome tote bags on the side. Tote bags that carry the secret to trivia glory.) We went 12-for-12 there, though no team scored less than 10, as Quizmaster Paul gave everyone a word bank.

We entered the final round in the top three. As per usual, it was a “name that movie” audio round. I normally check out of this round, as I am far from a movie buff. I’m more of a movie couch potato. Or whatever the opposite of a “buff” is. The first clip was a quote I had never heard, but I thought I recognized the voice… Same for movie clip #2. And #3… Ahhh Will Ferrell, you comedic genius who needs to come to the Hamptons so I can meet you, YOU are that voice I recognize! The team did the movie round in relative silence, opting to compare notes after all quotes have been played.

Thankful that I subscribe to Will Ferrell’s frat-tastic style of humor, I quickly paired quotes. We collectively came up with 10 solid answers, though a last-minute pumping of the brakes by Brendan allowed us to correctly replace Kicking and Screaming with Blades of Glory.

The final results came in…We had gone 10 for 10 and were in a two-way tie for first place with The Spunky Brewsters. To split the pot or go for the gold? We wanted to split the pot, but somehow ended up multiplying the number of Slurpees Montauk’s 7-Eleven sells per day by the number of 7-Elevens we think are in Manitoba, Canada, times 365 to determine how many Slurpees are consumed in that Slurpee-loving providence per year. Does that make sense? No? Good. We submitted 6 million to the tie-breaker. The correct answer: 30 million. We were far off, but not as far off as The Spunky Brewsters’ 250,000.


Winners! Thursday Night AA was victorious, besting the season-leading My Dixie Wrecked, who came in third, and gaining two points on our rivals in the official Townline BBQ Trivia standings.

The Spunky Brewsters came in second.
The Spunky Brewsters came in second.

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