Sheltered Islander

Sheltered Islander: School Is Open! Google Safely

“I never let schooling interfere with my education.” –Mark Twain

 ***

 “Mom, Dad, I just want to say, you gotta get me a smart phone. I can’t start school with this lame flip phone. It’ll cost $199.”

“I’m sorry, Joey, I thought for a minute you were going to thank Dad and me for the $300 tablet, or new sneakers or bike for school.”

“Don’t be stupid, Mom, you’re still driving me to school. I’m not biking to school like a little kid. The bike is for after school.”

“What’s the difference between biking to school or riding with friends after school?”

“It’s not your generation, Mom. I’m not walking to school five miles uphill, both ways, carrying a book bag with broken handle. Biking is a recreational activity.”

“Oh, excuse me.”

“And I need 10 apps for my new tablet. Give me your credit card and I’ll download them.”

“Wait a minute. Let me see this tablet thing I paid $300 for.”

“Here, Dad, don’t touch the glass.”

“I need tires, Peggy, and you paid $300 for this?”

“He needs it for school, Joe. They look up things on the internet.”

“What’s wrong with the library? You find a book in the card catalog and read it for free.”

“What’s a card catalog?”

“Never mind, Joey. Joe, the card catalogs are gone. It’s all computerized now.”

“And that’s another thing, Peggy—where is this internet thing? Some big box in the sky?”

“Not now, Joe. Joey, give me the list of apps you want and I’ll get the ones I approve of. Plus, I have to set the parental controls.”

“I don’t need controls. You can barely manage emails, Mom, how are you gonna download?”

“Check the attitude, son. Answer your mother. What’s an app, Peggy? $300 to buy it, now I gotta feed it…”

“Not now, Joe.”

“It’s not a big deal. The apps will be a couple hundred plus a subscription to World of Warcraft.”

“A pay every month subscription?”

“Yes, Dad. I’ve been playing on Tommy’s dad’s account until he locked us out just because his avatar was hooking up with this hot warrior babe.”

“Joey, why can’t I get into this tablet? Says I need a password. Give me the password.”

“I’m not giving you the password unless you promise not to mess with the parental controls, Mom. It’s not like I’m gonna look at porn all day.”

“You can get porn on this little thing?”

“Not now, Joe.”

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