Police Blotter

Protestors Say Some Animals Are Too Cute to Kill

Police support was called as a meeting of village government in East Hampton drew an overflow crowd on Wednesday. At issue was the proposal to allow the hunting of deer on selected parcels, a measure to cull the herd that is supported by both officials and environmental groups.

Vociferous opponents of the measure included members of the activist group Hands Off the Cute Critters (HOCC), who loudly disrupted the meeting on several occasions.

“We need a standard whereby cute, fuzzy animals are off-limits and only nasty looking animals can be killed,” HOCC spokesman Horace Hassler demanded. “For example, we’re perfectly happy to let people catch as many fish as they want out of local waters—fishes ain’t cute!”

Birds are another matter, and HOCC members are actively debating their cuteness.

For now, HOCC proposes an official list of cute animals to include deer, bunnies, chipmunks and possibly squirrels—though there is some internal disagreement within HOCC as to the cuteness of squirrels.

A ruling on all contentious species is expected soon.

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