Grand Solution Found, Then Lost in Sag Harbor

Sag Harbor Thinker
Life's big answers are fleeting, Photo: bowie15/123RF, Oliver Peterson

Three unidentified men in Sag Harbor reported to police they had arrived at a solution to most of the world’s vexing problems, only to forget what that solution was.

“These gentlemen were seated on a bench on Main Street,” Hamptons Police spokesman Larry Hirsch said, “and all three of them swear they had worked it all out. It seems a little far-fetched, but they were there for several hours—and they’ve been meeting there a lot, so it’s a little less incredible than it might seem at first.”

Hirsch said that the men claim that their solution is “surprisingly simple,” but that they had each had several drinks and now can’t remember what it was. “They are asking that anyone who might have overheard their conversation come forward and refresh their memories,” Hirsch said.

In related news, a lone man in a tie-dyed Grateful Dead T-shirt found the meaning of life after several long hours of staring at the sand on Sagg Main Beach in Sagaponack over Memorial Day weekend. Unfortunately, following a sleepless night fraught with giggling and groaning, he, too, forgot what it was.

Read more tales from the Hamptons Police Blotter

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