The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of January 25–31, 2019

Trump met Chuck and Nancy on the Internationale.

Week of January 25–31, 2019
Riders this past week: 24,913
Rider miles this past week: 76,822

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick were seen talking about old times as they rode the subway from Sag Harbor to Bridgehampton on Thursday. Brooke Shields, Katie Couric and Jennifer Lopez were seen riding the same train headed from Montauk to Amagansett on Sunday afternoon.

WE NEVER TELL, EXCEPT…
As you know, Hamptons Subway has a first class subway car complete with staff that it rents out to dignitaries and high officials from around the world The car, called “The Internationale,” only operates in the nighttime, between 2 am and 6 am when the subway system is otherwise closed for maintenance. It operates alone, moves at a stately five miles an hour around the system and those in it negotiate in the greatest secrecy, safety and comfort imaginable, with the staff providing the finest wine, gourmet meals, secretarial services and video communications with advisors around the world. Those participating sit around a mahogany conference table that can seat 12.

We’re not supposed to tell who has booked the “Internationale,” but on the other hand, we just can’t resist reporting one particular charter situation that happened last Monday night. These were extraordinary circumstances.

“The Internationale” was rented for the night by President Trump. He arrived at 2 a.m. and sat at the table inside waiting. At 2:15 am, his guests showed up. They were Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, the Democratic Congressional Leaders. The sliding doors opened and Chuck and Nancy, as he called them, entered and received warm handshakes and smiles from their host who then stepped back out onto the Southampton platform, snapped his fingers causing the sliding doors to close and “The Internationale” to start up and move off at a stately pace. He waved to them and said “Bye Bye.” Then, watching them with their noses pressed to the window, he left, and went up the escalator to the street laughing to himself.

Subsequently, he bounced the check he had given us as payment for the rental. Not nice.

ANCIENT PARTS
Hamptons Subway trains were built in 1927. The trackage and tunnels were built in 1927. All the lights, car brakes, engines and transmissions are from that year, as are the control rooms and communications equipment and the levers and wheels that send trains and those on board off for their journeys around the system.

Hamptons Subway is looking for anyone who remembers how to repair and replace some of this equipment as it ages. All of it was made when the construction of the subway system was completed that year. In any case, some of this equipment, brass, iron and leather, is nearly indestructible. Anyway, if you know anyone who as a boy of 10 worked in our repair department in 1927 and today is just over a hundred years old but remembers how to fix things, please have him call us as some things broke this week that we simply don’t know how to fix or, in one case, even what it does. Thank you. Spare parts, if he has any, would be helpful too.

COLD SPELL INFO
During the recent cold snap, lots of folks took short subway rides rather than walked. It’s just to keep out of the cold we think. However with the recent rise in fare to $2.95 it is a bit of an extravagance.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
As a friend of The Donald, I was surprised that he stiffed me over the rental of the Internationale. Let it be known that I could have removed the item about his treatment of Pelosi and Schumer, but chose not to.

READ MORE HAMPTONS SUBWAY

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