South O’ the Highway

Back Among the Vapid: Derwood Hodgegrass Honors “The Breakfast Club”

Derwood Hodgegrass appears to be back to his old ways.

The eccentric billionaire hosted a massive “Party at Stubby’s” bash at his Southampton mansion in honor of his favorite film, The Breakfast Club, on Saturday. And in typical Hodgegrass style, he flew in Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, John Kapelos (Carl the janitor) and “Mr. Vernon” actor Paul Gleason for the event. Ally Sheedy was also invited, but unable, or unwilling, to attend. She responded with a brief text, explaining only, “When you grow up, your heart dies.”

Friends held an intervention to snap Hodgegrass out of his recent “shamanic stupor” last week after learning his so-called spiritual advisor—celebrity ayahuasquero Don Julio Luiz Pedena—wasn’t playing by his own rules and using the billionaire’s wealth to enjoy all the Hamptons’ excesses, while telling Hodgegrass to cast off material wants and “frivolous pursuits.”

Though resistant at first, friends said Hodgegrass is “no dummy” and that he made a quick turnaround after being presented with the evidence about Luiz Pedena.

“He was pissed,” pal Howard Sneed said, barely containing his glee over the outcome. “As soon as Don Julio got home, Derwood slapped him in the face and stripped him of his suit, cell phone and watch, right there on the spot.” Luiz Pedena was not allowed to return to Hodgegrass Mansion, but it is rumored he remains in the Hamptons this week.

On Saturday, Hodgegrass was in rare form, friends said, describing his Party at Stubby’s as “better than Russell’s Apollo in the Hamptons, Diddy’s White Party and The Hampton Classic combined.”

Guests said all six Breakfast Club actors dressed and acted their parts at Hodgegrass’ behest. “Gleason was wearing that ridiculous suit, and he spent half the party with toilet paper dragging from his shoe,” Sneed said. “Derwood was giggling uncontrollably every time the guy walked by,” he added. “And he kept doing the ‘Mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns’ and ‘I’ve got my eye on you’ bits—it was hilarious.”

Servers handed out small cartons of milk, sushi and, despite Sheedy’s absence, Captain Crunch-and-white sugar sandwiches on vintage Wonder Bread that Hodgegrass had put aside after Hostess closed last year. A few guests noted in confidence that their host placed orange lockers around Hodgegrass Mansion and hid brown paper bags filled with “party favors” inside them. “The chicks can’t hold the smoke,” one visitor recalled.

Around 3 a.m. Sunday morning, Hodgegrass revealed that Kapelos had been collecting guests’ secrets throughout the evening and the actor began to share them while encouraging people to guess who said what.

True to his theme, after sunrise the billionaire served a cornucopia of breakfast delights. The feast comprised fast food egg sandwiches from every major restaurant chain, including Denny’s “Moons Over My Hammy” and stacks and stacks of pancakes and waffles, and “just about every sugar cereal you could imagine,” one server said.

By noon the party was finally over, though many guests slept in Hodgegrass Mansion or outside on its expansive grounds. A local family reported seeing Nelson, still dressed as John Bender, bouncing a basketball and singing Army cadence while walking unsteadily in the middle of Jobs Lane some time around 1 p.m. He has not resurfaced since.

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